October 8, 2007

SITUATIONS WHERE IT IS POPULAR TO COMPROMISE YOUR OWN SAFETY

- when egged-on by your classmates at a third grade field trip to the zoo, you impersonate a muskrat in its natural habitat, underwater for ten minutes

- at annual Feast of Nations celebration, hold a demonstration called, Famine of Nations, which you dedicate to sub-Saharan Africa

- on an Irish fraternity trip to the Motherland, attempt to steal the Blarney Stone for use in initiating practices

- when competing in a Scrabble tournament held in front of an audience that hates the game, and against a very dangerous opponent, rearrange the letters so that they line the perimeter of the board so that they don't spell real words

- freshmen year of college: alcohol poisoning

- you are the chair and founding member of the 'Free and/or Highly Subsidized Plastic Surgery Club', and need to demonstrate various methods of achieving your club goal. throw yourself in front of a speeding train so that the nose job you've always wanted costs $500, your insurance plan's deductible for facial reconstructive surgery.

5 comments:

jlweinst said...

re: the last item on this list: everyone knows that "return to previous level of shape and/or function so that you can go out into the world without being laughed at" operations are NOT cosmetic and therefore often have lower deductibles. Way to be offensive to the SOTI+PPSV (Survivors of Train Incidents and Peoples of Plastic Surgery Victims) community!

Anonymous said...

when competing in a Scrabble tournament held in front of an audience that hates the game, and against a very dangerous opponent, rearrange the letters so that they line the perimeter of the board so that they don't spell real words

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