PRODUCTS RECENTLY RECALLED FROM HOME DEPOT

- flesh puddy

- "MY HUSBAND'S A BRICK" bumper sticker

- automatic assault rifle modifying kit for allen wrench

- electric knuckle remover

- do-it-yourself hip replacement kit

- cement laisons

- soldering iron designed to join small intestine and nasal membrane

- practical joke kit that includes: gasoline-mister, snake urine, pink hammer made to appear rubber, regular staple with a pricetag attached reading $5,000

- employees' red smocks