RESULTS OF DEFORESTATION

- motorcycles will no longer be built out of wood

- toucans will be forced to find shelter in old newspapers

- the word 'sapling' will be erased from dictionaries and collective consciousness

- decline in property value, rise in dirt and chicken wire fencing

- the disappearance of forests will encourage using non-wood material in manufacturing, such as recycled cell phones and Dijon mustard

- tree huggers will adopt frowning campaign

- thicket becomes the new forest

- log cabins will be stripped of aesthetic

- rise in demand for wooden clogs will see violins turn into shoes

- denial

- 'earth therapy' will establish itself as a legitimate service covered by most insurance plans

- bread will no longer be made using wood pulp

- there will be a consensus among most reasonable people that human beings have an impact on the natural world

- Hannukah will be shortened to seven days

- entire line of 1958 1/2" Norwegian multi-board laminate condensers will become obsolete