MTV'S "MY SUPER SWEET SIXTEEN" SPIN-OFF, "MY SUPER SWEET BAR MITZVAH"

- chair-raising dance done to P. Diddy song

- all guests given an 'oy bag' instead of a party bag

- parents live out their dreams of one-upping their friends by throwing the biggest most ostentatious party ever

- hotel's closed-circuit television broadcasts "funny sermon" written and performed by bar mitzvah boy

- boy steps out of limousine and makes grand entrance wearing a blue velvet jump suit with Star of David embroidered in shiny silver thread on the back

- "Dad, you're so stupid! I told you I did NOT want you and Mom to rent a Hannukah Harry impersonator!"

- party-themed centerpieces made from recycled yarmulkes

- party is Joseph and the Amazing Technicolored Dreamcoat-themed, not because of its biblical theme, but because bar mitzvah boy is going through a Broadway musical phase

- parents try to be really cool by saying (and repeating) 'kosher shmosher'

- T-shirt screen printer left out two words - 'bar' and 'mitzvah' - when making shirts, so they read, 'JEREMY'S BIG'