DISAPPOINTING COUPONS

- one complimentary apple after you move the old refrigerator out to the curb for garbage pick-up

- free estimate on how long it will take for your receding hairline to degenerate into full-blown baldness

- free admission to Solitaire World Series

- buy one get one free of substantially lower cost and quality

- removes rust and lime scale when rubbed vigorously against the shower stall

- appeared to be the most generous discount ever offered until you see 'j/k' at the bottom

- expired ten minutes ago

- good for ten years of your son peeing all over the toilet seat