FRUITS ENJOY THEIR 15 MINUTES OF FAME

- because Madonna wrote a children’s book about it

- cantaloupe finishes lab maze race quicker than rat opponent

- farmers’ press conference limited because of crop’s exposure to 170 degree dry heat

- growth hormone used to enhance taste instead causes ubiquitous Groucho Marx nose and glasses costume

- pumpkin so large it required hospitalization and several months recovery from gastric bypass surgery

- signs of artificial intelligence can only sustain interest for so long

- for a very brief period the TSA required all travelers to remove their pineapples before security checks

- neighborhood watch group convinces local media to film discussion of dingleberry re-zoning laws

- commercial push for Valentine's Day chocolate substitute - passion fruit - never gained consumer support

- prickly lychee fruit lacerates patient during exfoliating process

- coconuts outlawed in Iran after government learns that name contains the word "nut"