LEAST COMMON SIDE-EFFECTS FROM OVER-THE-COUNTER HEARTBURN MEDICATION

- progeria

-teen pregnancy

- throwing caution to the wind

- hide

- proficiency in C++

- ocular trumpetitis

- raging homosexuality

- the fifth Beatle

- abdominal hair growth

- S.I.D.S.

- immediate and steady rise in technology stock portfolio

- penile meningitis

- lactating underarm sweat glands

- hot dog fingers