MINING NATURAL RESOURCES IN THE YEAR 2050

- sulfur reserves will have been depleted more than 20 years ago requiring matches to be made with a different, yet equally acrid, smell in order to mask really stinky bathrooms

- reserves of linoleum floor tile will be discovered and used as fuel

- salt mines will work in harmony with yeast and baking soda mines

- the Bic Pen Company will begin drilling for solid ink deposits

- large earth-piercing drills will be replaced by solar-powered battle axes

- natural resources will be obsolete after being replaced by China

- fools gold reserves are on the brink of extinction, and demand will push prices past that of real gold

- abandoned mine shafts have converted into 'fun elevators'

- while building massive underground networks of cathedrals, doomsdayer's will stumble upon several trillitons of pirate booty

- Adidas Shoes pays top dollar to brand newly-discovered natural resource named Power Jump Technology

- Mother Earth will be torn between finding mankind destructive and enterprising