POLITE ANSWERS TO STUPID QUESTIONS

Q. How many hands am I holding up?
A. Two.

Q. Is today tomorrow's yesterday?
A. How many times do we have to go over this?

Q. Oh, hi, do you remember me? We met last year at Carl's party.
A. Yes.

Q. Is it possible to swim in outer space?
A. Honestly, I've never been there, so I don't feel comfortable giving you an answer.

Q. Why can't I see my own brain?
A. Because you don't have one.

Q. I was attacked by a shark and can't feel my legs anymore. Is this normal?
A. Which question would you like me to answer first?

Q. Is a hot dog the same thing as a tomato?
A. Danny, I don't have time for this.