WAYS TO PREPARE FOR A NATURAL DISASTER

- stop, drop and roll

- eat a lot so that you'll grow fat deposits to feed off, allowing you to survive during a formidable storm

- make a time capsule so that you'll remember the good ol' days

- tattoo social security number on your forehead so that once you are found you'll be easily identifiable

- make a charitable donation to increase your karmic vibes

- form alliance with Zeus so that you can fight lightning bolt with lightning bolt once the storm comes a knockin'

- shave head to reduce the risk of being snagged by a tree branch on the way down

- your car, which was once your pride and joy, will be destroyed. learn to deal with it!

- move to Shangri-la, where nothing bad ever happens