BILLS PASSED INTO LAW BY VERY NARROW MARGIN

- effective the first of the year corporate restructuring will function on the honor system

- Prohibition. On everything and until further notice. Period.

- displaced peoples may now choose between resident alien status or lifetime of all-inclusive resort-stays broken up into three-week chunks

- women carrying in third trimester eligible for coupon redeemable for one free oil change

- No Child Left In Line: free meal plan for students who would otherwise be left in line

- No Child Left Online: community outreach program ensuring no child be left online

- No Child Cut In Line: children who cut in line will now be prosecuted to the full extent of the law

- FRR (Frame of Reference Referendum): everyone is now entitled to their own frame of reference

- trade unions may no longer discriminate or deny membership to any country whose main export is Crisco

- by 2015 publicly held companies must switch from unfair trade, to fair trade, to equal trade, to generous trade

- Shelly's Law: free health care to anyone suffering from Shelly

- raise voting age from 18 years of age to 18 years and two months, so as to comply with "new standards"