MOST COMMON REASONS FOR VISITING FOREIGN CONSULATE

- to introduce a new species of butterfly

- free Dasani water bottles

- you didn't know that being left-handed was a serious criminal offense

- triage

- because you are really bored

- in order to let your new native friend see the wide variety of faces and personalities representative of your home country's impressive diversity

- Kao Bung Wook is no longer a satisfactory substitute to Bruce Springsteen

- you need to borrow a phone because you dropped yours in the toilet hole

- to find out once and for all what P.O.W. M.I.A. stands for

- because you made a REALLY BIG MISTAKE

- this is your first time out of the country and can no longer function without Tivo

- turned away at airport because tape worms cannot be domesticated

- you got a glass sliver and have to chill out for a while before re-joining the tour group

- because you got a call from your folks wondering if you received the package, since they didn't hear back from you

- deluxe explorer compass has accidentally changed country's borders, increasing the chances of being caught in the middle of warring factions