June 14, 2007

WAYS TO IMPROVE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS

- mood music

- beer and sneaker sponsorships

- change name from 'State of the Union' to 'State of My Swollen Glands'

- F.A.Q. lightning round

- no-holds-barred bi-partisan ultimate fight in the aisles

- dark interior secretary of the underworld casts magic spell on congressional sub-committees

- use air quotes whenever saying the words, "counter-insurgency"

- dim lights for laser light show

- begin with evening wear round, followed by swimsuit round, and finish with impressive talent show

- Vice President gets tattoo of URL to post-coverage debate on forehead

- ad hoc vote on whether or not president should keep his job

- blue screen background to add scenery that is confusing and totally out of context

- encore performance

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

And monkeys. Monkeys make everything funnier.

http://mikeelliottsblog.wordpress.com

Becki said...

Yeah, I think I love this work of blogatory art.

xzxblondiexzx said...

hey just want to let you know that i think your blog is great!

Amy said...

Adam,

I LOVE your blog! Your boredom at work is going to make you famous. Keep those lists coming!

http://an-authentic-life.blogspot.com

Bizzy Girl said...

Maybe have some scantily clad cocktail girls walking around with drinks on trays? That'll be guaranteed to keep some eyes open.

Anonymous said...

Anything that makes it seem like an Allman Brothers concert knockoff is well in my book.

MarilynJean said...

This = sheer. brillance. I think a dance off between the aisles would be nice....or maybe play The Dating Game with the Justices or Joint Chiefs.

JILL SMOLINSKI said...

I'm all about lists! (I even wrote a novel about them). Love this one! And Listoff, this is a great idea for a blog.

Boom Kornstein said...

senators dance horah at the end. pres and vice pres up in chairs.